truth

I think I may set my pen down for a time

To remember who

I

am and find out why

I

endure this existence

People keep telling me I’m supposed to thrive

I

am tired

of trying to do the things the way

that people live so easily

Those people who are so put together

Feelings aren’t facts

The truth isn’t either

They seem like they don’t know how to live

Yet they keep advertising that they are living

best

What is a best

life

Am I doing it

right

Maybe they find passion in charts

data, infographs

I think that’s art

too

But what is life without a soul

Can you feel a number

Can you count love

Can you explain why I feel this pain

Not the poke of a body ache

Not the break of a bone

I push past the limit

The realness of life

makes me

moan

Do you

believe

in hiding behind descriptions of the links that make us all the same

Do you

feel

a message from a place that isn’t contained in a body of shame

Does it

help

to think

you are just a brain

I watch the zombie march of science

I inspect the faces, stoic, silent

Don’t look here, look at evidence

I

think they need a hug

I

need more than that

I

need more than messages

I

need more than evidence

I

need more than explaination

I

don’t need validation

I

feel like you’re in there too

hiding

.

From,

the truth

.

P.S. it’s you

---

I tried hard to really try

The way you might

I grit and bear and say I’m fine

Then I cry alone at night

I won’t let you see that

I’m too strong to

I belong

I’m convincing

Don’t you see

I can do it

Easily

I think that’s what they mean

When they tell me

Take it easy

I’m not sure what I’m supposed to take

Your advice

The harbor of another vice

I said I was gonna stop

Sentinels like to watch

Tell me I’m not

Supposed to

Suppose

Then change my thought

I wait

For someone to change

Notice

Know that

Admit they don’t know shit

Focus on new facts

Change their mind again

A different familiar story

.

From,

convinced