50 ways to tell if i like you

a definitive guide to friendship

1. i tell you i like you

2. i tell you i hate you

3. i share my insecurities, like… over share, things you wouldn’t tell god. i cannot be forgiven

4. i hide how i’m feeling because you are too close and i can’t lose you you’re the only person i can tell ANYTHING

5. i give you compliments 

6. i make fun of your insecurities and vulnerabilities you’re pathetic lol

7. i gift you things

8. i don’t give you things (cause we are that close and you already know we tight so it’s chill)

9. i bug you constantly 

10. i don’t even respond, like… ever (see above)

11. i ask you for help

12. i show up for favors. and complain the whole time, you’ve imprisoned me in friendship how dare you i’m never doing this again

13. i listen

14. i talk over you and interrupt constantly

15. i give amazing advise, the kind you didn’t ask for but you know you need it. shut. up. LISTEN. you are hopeless

16. tbh all advice sucks, who else am i gonna practice on?

17. i ask about your day, then i brush over it because who cares about your day you’re my friend and that has more to do with me than anything do you even care wow rude

18. i remember little details, but not your birthday cause that’s numbers and nobody is good at that no i didn’t get you a present are you fuckin serious

19. i tolerate your shit

20. i tell you how insufferable you are and how burdensome it is to have a nut-case for a friend, i’m basically a therapist cause of you but not even the good kind cause your problems are so blehhhh

21. i’m honest. ALWAYS

22. i’ll tell you that you are NOT fat like really don’t even worry you still look, like… 20. you’re beautiful

23. you are fat common if you weren’t you wouldn’t be asking

24. you can trust me I can keep a secret i pinky promise just teeeeelll me

25. i gossip about you

26. i’ll tell you i’m 5 minutes away but it’s really like 15 and I have to stop for gas

27. i support your dreams and goals

28. i tell you how stupid you are, we aren’t kids anymore this is real life get a grip

29. i hug you a lot, the good kind of hugs

30. i threaten your life over minute inconveniences i’ll kill you stop 

31. i’ll cry with you

32. stop crying this is a starbucks there are people here this is embarrassing omg

33. i’m considerate about your sensitive personality and make sure you always feel secure with me

34. i know where it hurts, and I twist the knife you deserve it and you know why

35. i laugh at your jokes

36. i don’t laugh at your jokes, they are bad jokes you’re not funny stop telling jokes

37. i don’t tell you anything about that new it i’m dating i know you are gonna hate them i have bad taste just let me be terrible you know we’re gonna break up anyways

38. i dress up for your important events

39. i never dress up common it’s me you know me this is how i am why won’t you accept me this is my authentic self i can’t be ME without sweat pants and sandal socks aaahh this wedding is horseshit

40. i pretend to like your new girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/slampiece/soulmate/situationship/scumoftheearth it’s 2024 idc about your label i hate labels so why do we have so many

41. i talk shit about them everyone knows they are awful there are so many red flags you are blind jesus fckn train wreck

42. no DO NOT move in with them holy shit you are worse at this than me

43. i sabotage your other relationships so we can have more quality time together

44. we share hobbies and do them together as often as possible

45. your hobbies suck get new ones why can’t we ever have fun ugghgghhh

46. i’ll tolerate watching reality tv with you even though it’s poisoning our ability to connect with each other these people are crazzzy amirite wooow we are so much better than them i can’t believe she likes him

47. i admit when i’m wrong

48. i apologize when i’m mean

49. i am never wrong. no i’m not apologizing this is MY TRUTH

50. i grill anybody wanting to date you to make sure they aren’t a succubus

51. in fact, you don’t want to date anybody here don’t try they are not worthy you wanna get ice cream?

52. i’ll cook for you. i’m a shit cook and i never clean so that’s on you

53. ya i used 3 pots to make spaghetti and there’s melted cheese and sauce caked into all of them i strained the sauce in the colander it’s called al dente chill tf out

ya that’s more than 50, i dunno there’s probably more

hope this helps :)